The ghosts of the past

I have published a post earlier which was a description of me a some months ago, but an earlier me has come to haunt me in some way.

I left school for the city two days after I wrote my last paper (7 yrs+ ago) and have never made real contact with that life again. Ran into an old friend a few years ago and with whom I had the best friendship for about 18 months and that fizzled out, but other than that I have been past and baggage free. I have been missing people from my past for some years now, wondering what they are up to and who they are now. Last week was a surprise though, I ran into a very good friend from school out of the blue who is now also living in the city. We exchanged numbers and agreed to meet for a few beers sometime.

In a moment of weakness I phoned him this afternoon to set up a drinking 'date'. He is travelling so we can only do it in the week of the 27th. Why do I write this post now then? The whole situation has brought up some interesting questions for me though. I have left a life behind and started a new one. I am a different person now, are they (he) still the same? To clarify, I used to be in the closet back then. Rumours about my sexuality surfaced in my final year and it basically killed my social existence.

Back to my questions, or challenges... I am feeling very anxtious - do I need to go through the coming out process again? Will I be measured according to the heterosexual measures of success (married, children, divorced etc.)? At least my career and experience could kick some heterosexual ass. He is not married or divorced and has no children - could that be our common ground, or will it be our travels? Who knows, I will post it here.

Just scrawling.